ULTRAMagic Archive - Entry 26
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ACF-100
The Anomaly Containment Foundation (The ACF) is an independently funded organization dedicated to the containment and study of anomalous entities, objects, and events. Such anomalies have been deemed too dangerous for society and must be catalogued and secured. Some anomalies pose such a high risk to humanity as a whole that not even the lower rungs of the foundation itself are allowed to know about them. The following documentation will cover ACF-100 and ACF-100-1 (The Dead God), having been classified as ‘Lethal’ and deemed an ‘existential threat.’ All of the included information has been reviewed and approved by 05-Red Command. Should any intense feelings of dread or lethargy set in, please contact The ACF Psychiatric Division for counseling and potential memory suppression therapy.
Discovery
Sirius Fractal of 05-Red Command had been raising concerns about a great anomaly for years when in 1979, Zaem Tah of The Inferno Council of Order (Inferno’s main governing body, under the 4 emperors) contacted The ACF about an incident involving the entity known as Satan and a previously unknown rogue god. While unknown rogue gods are not of the ordinary, this god in particular could not be immediately identified by higher dimensional authorities. Even Sirius himself, a 0D Dream Construct, could not figure out who this god was. This naturally warranted an immediate response by The ACF.
The Inferno of Universe-23 is notable for being more prosperous than other timelines. The 4 emperors were able to curtail the majority of Earth Spirits (the lowest point of spiritual evolution for a spirit) and imprison them in the 9th and 10th layers of Inferno. Despite some Earth Spirits making their way to the human realm, the demon kings Corniger and Asmodeus were able to keep them under control. This all changed when the majority of the Nephilim and Watcher Angels were condemned to the depths of Inferno for their sins following the Mt. Hermon incident (detailed in the books of Enoch). Empowered and educated by the traitorous angels, the Nephilim tested the mettle of Asmodeus and Corniger. The prison break of the 757th cycle nearly saw those forces of evil invade Earth, had it not been for the intervention of the unknown rogue god… those present at the incident know this was not a cause for celebration, however.
Three skeletal bishops of immense power appeared out of nowhere and were tasked with securing the lowest layers of Inferno. Nefarious the Entombed guarded the entrance to the 9th layer, taking the form of a colossal skeleton bolted to an eldritch, iron tower that no man could topple. Nemesis the Infernal began ruling the 9th layer, manifesting as a penitent, skeletal knight who brutalized enemies of God with a thorn wrapped mace of unyielding piety. Ruling the frozen nightmare that was the 10th layer was Nevermore, the Gaping Archbishop. His terrible existence took the form of a giant skeleton perpetually dissolving into a screaming abyss of pure insanity, leaving behind a trail of grisly, grasping red arms wherever he walked. The three were fiercely loyal to God and did their jobs well, but there was an underlying problem to all of it. There was no precedent for these bishops existing in the first place and even they did not know who had created them at the time.
A second attempted jailbreak occurred in cycle 801 which would be the one that prompted Zaem and Natas to contact The ACF. An evil nephilim whose name is lost to history declared himself “Satan” and swore to destroy Earth and burn the Heavens all in the name of a heathenous rule of blood and glory. This was so foul of a declaration that the original Satan (who helped Lucifer, Askr, and Embla found the city-state of Atlantis) changed his name to “Natas” and swore revenge. Natas would later come to be known as “The Arbiter of Adversaries.”
Satan was making headway due to receiving help from The Sepulcher God, the unknown rogue god, and an alliance of humans from the rich elite known as “The Extinction Order.” The Extinction Order was what revealed the unknown god to The ACF as this god had enabled Satan to get into contact with order… Only to turn around and stab them all in the back be ‘accidentally’ revealing the order’s involvement. Sirius further found out that this unknown god was “The Dead God,” but still could not identify it, warranting more ACF attention.
The jailbreak failed, Satan went on the run, and The Extinction Order was left in shambles, all thanks to the efforts of the 3 bishops and 7 wardens of Inferno. As for The Extinction Order, they were the confirmed predecessor to The Eternal Order (the acolytes of The Sepulcher God). The original order consisted of an unknown group of the hyper wealthy, rich elite who desired to wipe out humanity so they could have the Earth all to themselves and brutally enslave any survivors. These individuals were borderline impossible to identify and track down due to their wealth and magic from The Crimson God (The Sepulcher God’s closest ally).
What was left of The Extinction Order (that had not gone into hiding) was wiped out in 1984 by five criminals by the names of Sebastian Rainer Friedrich III, Anne Vozenilek, Laurence Duckenfield, Judge Bauzenthrau Holten, and Jupp Parche. The appropriated money would be used to create The Eternal Order, the vast wealth of ill-gotten funds being used to wreak havoc on humanity for decades to come. This group was chased away from Earth for a time thanks to the efforts of M.A.I.G., The ACF, and the newly founded Red Order (by Fausta Dracul and Vlad III Dracula), all under the leadership of The League. 1987 saw the death of Bauzenthrau and Jupp, who were on a hedonistic spree of destruction and violence that was snitched on by The Dead God. The invaluable tip led to Vlad III impaling Bauzenthrau and Fausta banishing Jupp to The Abyssal Dungeon to make an example out of them for the remaining members of The Extinction Order.
The Dead God’s meddling and trouble-causing on Earth required immediate classification as an anomaly. Needing to deal with this as quickly as possible, Sirius sought out The Madman and Automaton of Old to get to the bottom of things. What the three discovered terrified them to no end. Not only did Sirius need to cement the anomaly classification, he made it top secret to even the majority of the foundation. And despite being deemed an existential threat at the Lethal classification level, Sirius has stated that ACF-100 cannot be destroyed or contained. The best they could do was study it and respond to it appropriately. As more is discovered about ACF-100 and The Dead God, the more the higher dimensional authorities grow concerned. Any new information is to be kept a secret until such a point in the far future where it is deemed safe for general knowledge.
What is ACF-100?
ACF-100 is to remain top secret under any and all circumstances. Knowledge of this anomaly is dangerous and could destabilize the Cosmos in the hands of the wrong individual. While The ACF does its best to contain and catalogue anomalies, ACF-100 goes well beyond what is feasibly possible for the foundation. Such uncertainties denote the unknowability of the Cosmos and the Outer Void. It is in the best interest of everyone that the full scope of ACF-100 remains an unexplained secret. These are concepts that are not meant to be known by the Cosmos as a whole.
The Dead God
The Dead God is an emanation of ACF-100 that routinely defies the foundation’s efforts to maintain secrecy about it. Initially classified as a ‘rogue god,’ this was later changed to ‘bizarre god’ given his origins. The Dead God is a self-described agent of chaos and change, looking for trouble and fun wherever he can find it. He opposes entropy, complacency, and stagnation. Furthermore he has implied that there is an entity similar to him he despises who stands for those concepts he hates. While The dead God has a wide range of manifestations, his most common is a youthful man with a creepy, uncanny skeletal appearance.
Calling The Dead God evil or good is not applicable as he exists beyond the confines of any perceivable form of morality or intellect. There is no denying the acts he has done, but these are effectively meaningless at his true scale. Not even imagination and dreams can fully encapsulate what The Dead God and his origin is. Opposing The Dead god is seemingly impossible and pointless as he does not wish to rule or subjugate. While it is an oversimplification, comparing The Dead God to a child does help rationalize his actions. He is like a young boy mashing his toys together… And the author doesn’t even realize that I’m right over his shoulder, playing with one of my favorites. Seriously, writing is a lot of fun and you should try it sometime.
Containment
Containment has been deemed impossible by any possible means. The best that can be done is maintaining secrecy and making sure… HA! Trying to contain me? What a joke! That’s why I love you lower dimensionals. You’re so naive, which brings me back to my early days when I didn’t know what I know now about the void. If you’re that worried about me, keep assuming that this is just fiction and the author is mentally ill somehow. I mean, you already know about me-so the genie’s out of the bottle, but 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.
ACF-100’s documentation has led to a great amount of trouble for The ACF. Those who survived the purge and destruction of The Extinction Order have been interfering with The ACF’s operations across the world in a futile and misguided attempt to seek revenge against The Dead God. Notably The Extinction Order has been discovered funding ‘terrorist cells’ in west Asia, preventing The ACF from establishing a foothold there without military action. Furthermore, The Extinction Order rebranded itself to an investment firm called “Warmthgate” that maintains ties to The Eternal Order. Warmthgate has also funded an MLM known as ‘Herba-Witch’ that The League member, Ellen Corcoran (as known as "Ellen the Wayward"), has been going out of her way to stop. The ACF is maintaining efforts to spread awareness of Warmthgate’s origins and is dedicated to making sure they are taken down once and for all.
Jeez, I didn’t think those Extinction Order morons would be that petty about all of it. Then again we are dealing with people dumb enough to follow the Sepulcher God and get tricked by me… A quick note to all of you reading this: Don’t let Warmthgate or Herba-Witch get a foothold in your universe. As someone who loves chaos and messing around, report those companies to the authorities and don’t let up. If they want to play ball: it takes two to tango, you Sepulcher God floozies! CUE THE DRUMS AND BAGPIPES!
Testimonials
The following individuals have agreed to speak about The Dead God. Their insight has been reviewed and deemed suitable for this document… Just remember that there is no way you’re ever going to fully understand me at your current level of dimensional blah blah, HAHA! Anyways, let’s get into this testimony hoohaa.
Sirius Fractal (05-Red Command Member of The ACF)
“In my wildest dreams and nightmares I never thought I would encounter such a concept as ACF-100. And here I thought 13D was the end of the road, but oh boy was I a fool… While I’m hesitant to divulge information about this anomaly, here is what I feel comfortable saying: We believe ACF-100-1 may be a 14D entity, but we have no idea where the 14th dimension is, let alone what it could even represent. I’ve barely scratched the surface of 13D, so I have no idea where to even start in studying this…”
“You’re not trying hard enough, Mr. Fractal.”
“What?! What was that?” (gets up to look around) “I must be tired… NO, that was him, damn it. Be careful around The Dead God. Bizarre gods are dangerous and he should really be the poster child for that. The Dead God terrifies me to no end and I pray we can handle whatever he throws at us…”
“Oh come on, Mr. Fractal. Give me some credit…”
(Sirius abruptly ends the recording)
Dr. Reynard Glenn Woodall (Lead Scientist for The Magic Anomaly Investigation Group, or M.A.I.G.)
“Oh boy, this thing… ACF-100 is quite the doozy of a topic and I recall The Dead God causing trouble back in the Epoch of the Cosmos, when I was The Sulfur of Old and my wife, Erika, was The Mercury of Old. I distinctly remember the boy [The Dead God] stoking the flames of the feud between The Sepulcher God and The Tyrant God. As an aside, place your bets on The Tyrant God, as he still plans to give The Sepulcher God a good ass-kicking. Bless The Tyrant God’s soul, as he’s still fighting the good fight, despite being shattered… Is The Tyrant God actually a tyrant? Not at all. Chaotic? Sure, but he ran with the name after The Sepulcher God and Royal God slandered him with it… You know? I am growing concerned that The Dead God is going to try something dumb soon. I’ve had nightmares of him bringing back an old foe of mine, Ultinn-Lacksuss… (sighs) Maybe that’ll be The Sepulcher God’s doing and The Dead God is just trying to warn me. Oh, I have no idea at this point… Can you tell that this is driving us nuts? (chuckles) This job isn’t for the faint of heart or the weakminded…”
(Reynard notices the interviewer growing incredibly concerned and offers him a rootbeer to help ease their nerves)
Lord Anti (Master of Positrons, 13th dimensional Ar’ton Lord)
“Excuse me, pardon me… Haha, it’s tricky for entities such as myself to bring ourselves down to this dimension. So yes, The Dead God… (groans, indicating slight exasperation) Aside from him enabling The Behemoth God to shatter me, turning around and ratting him out, further leading to him [The Dead God] helping me reassemble myself? He’s [The Dead God] an interesting god to say the least. 14D is also fairly intriguing. I’m starting to get the jist of it, but I couldn’t possibly articulate what I’m learning to you. Although you could think of it like trying to understand 6D at 3D. I have a basic grasp on the general principles, I just need to sit down and really think about it… What do I know about ACF-100? Oh no no no no. What Sirius has under lock and key is the extent of what you should know and my knowledge on the matter is the unfathomable depths of the iceberg in comparison. It would melt your mind in ways the Ar’ton and the gods would have to fix… I’m sorry I can’t be of more help, but I have a responsibility towards God and the Cosmos. I have to be careful what I reveal as the Cosmos is very delicate at my scale and one wrong move could easily break it.”
The Wonderful Gentleman (Higher Dimensional Agent)
“As a master of cause & effect who seeks to keep things moving like a well oiled machine, I’ve encountered The Dead God before. I’m not his main rival that he’s alluded to, but I certainly have had to clean up after his messes. He’s [The Dead God] been all over the Cosmos, let me tell you what… Am I 14D? That’s a trade secret, Miss. What I can tell you is that there are more entities like me and The Dead God out there. Me and him are anomalies in that regard-ha, speaking of where we are right now! Ahem, entities like us typically stay in the shadows, but me and the lad both agree The Sepulcher God is an idiot unfit to rule the Cosmos, too blinded by his own greed and pride to see the world of hurt he’s flying right into. It never pays to be irreverent…”
(The Wonderful Gentleman notices the interviewer’s growing unease and dread and presents her with an adorable golden retriever puppy capable of performing magic, free of charge. These two would go on to retroactively form the Animal Care Division of The ACF, a branch that had previously not existed)
The Madman of Old (12D Forbidden Primordial, Rogue God Hunter)
“When you’re in my line of work, you see all sorts of crazy stuff. Go around the bend enough times and you get used to it. The Dead God however? I’ll admit he’s a bit of a new one for me. I can’t deal with him, but I don’t think I have to. He’s like the local rich kid down the street who just got access to a quantum physics book and is now building a particle collider in his back yard. Yeah, he blew the power grid a couple of times, but he means well at the end of the day. The best you can do is ignore it and leave it to people like me. Don’t get me wrong, it is serious, but there’s nothing you can do. Thankfully If I’m here telling you all that, everything should be fine. The Cosmos is a messy place held together by glue, duct tape, and a whole lot of elbow grease. The Dead God going around and causing ruckus is troubling and definitely a challenge, but The Automaton and I will always be around to fix things up. I just wish the lad would take it easy with meddling in our affairs. This conflict with The Sepulcher God is touchy as is and it’s bad enough that I have trouble tracking down that slippery rogue god to begin with.”
The Virus God (12th Dimensional Rogue God)
“I look like a character from one of your digital horror series on the internet? Which one?” (The Interviewer answers) “Haha, really?” (The Interviewer elaborates) “Ha, I see. It’s the long fingers and my distorted appearance in this dimension, isn’t it? I have to admit that a hive mind hiding out in an old, team-shooter video game would be more AIN-NULL’s area of expertise. Now, The Dead God-he’s a strange one. See, I’ve been to Threrth’s Cosmos… Yup, each of the cardinal Old Gods have their own Cosmos. I’ve seen some strange stuff while traversing the Outer Void and you grow numb to it until someone like The Dead God comes around. He was going to try and get into Threrth’s Cosmos, but The Alkainting God put the kibosh on that… For now.” (The interview appears confused). “Oh, The Alkainting God is a rogue god from Threrth’s Cosmos in case you’re wondering. I’d bring him here to talk about The Dead God, but he still hasn’t fully figured out how to speak coherently in this Cosmos. He’s doing better, but still. As for who you actually worry about? The Sepulcher God and The Behemoth God, no two ways about it. The latter is as nasty as they come, was a bad egg from the start, and no one wants him around. You want to know why Threrth’s Cosmos is so hard for me to explore? It’s because Threrth and his kin are going out of their way to make sure The Sepulcher God and his ilk can’t infect their Cosmoses…” (pauses) “I hope The Dead God realizes that I really miss my best friend, The Tyrant God. I don’t fault The Dead God and The Tyrant God is still around even if divided… but it hurts to come back from a long adventure only to find out some of your kin have turned their backs on God and your best friend was framed for murder and shattered for it…”
(The interviewer ends the session after seeing The Virus God grow visibly upset. He apologizes, with The Virus God assuring him it’s alright. The Madman enters with Sirius, the interviewer is relieved of duty, and the two take The Virus God somewhere else to relax and take his mind off of things)
Conclusion?
Oh, I uh… I didn’t think Zasiel would cover that… Jeez, maybe I should tone things down a bit. Virus God? I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I mean… Aye yai yai, I just want things to keep moving forward and… Damn it, of all times to have a conscience. It’s the lower dimensions! They do weird things to me… Look, I’m not evil, I’m just bored out of my mind. The 15th and 16th dimensionals? They won’t even go near the 14th dimension because it is too low for them. The Outer Void can be a lonely place at times. Don’t worry if you’re reading this and growing scared-just keep accepting it as fiction and none of these annoying conflicts will ever bother you. Now where’s The Virus God? I need to go buy him a Sundae or something…
I forgive you, Dead God.
Next: Scotty Cottonwood
ULTRAMagic Alternate © 2022 William Ford II (ChaoticTempleKnight)
The Anomaly Containment Foundation (The ACF) is an independently funded organization dedicated to the containment and study of anomalous entities, objects, and events. Such anomalies have been deemed too dangerous for society and must be catalogued and secured. Some anomalies pose such a high risk to humanity as a whole that not even the lower rungs of the foundation itself are allowed to know about them. The following documentation will cover ACF-100 and ACF-100-1 (The Dead God), having been classified as ‘Lethal’ and deemed an ‘existential threat.’ All of the included information has been reviewed and approved by 05-Red Command. Should any intense feelings of dread or lethargy set in, please contact The ACF Psychiatric Division for counseling and potential memory suppression therapy.
Discovery
Sirius Fractal of 05-Red Command had been raising concerns about a great anomaly for years when in 1979, Zaem Tah of The Inferno Council of Order (Inferno’s main governing body, under the 4 emperors) contacted The ACF about an incident involving the entity known as Satan and a previously unknown rogue god. While unknown rogue gods are not of the ordinary, this god in particular could not be immediately identified by higher dimensional authorities. Even Sirius himself, a 0D Dream Construct, could not figure out who this god was. This naturally warranted an immediate response by The ACF.
The Inferno of Universe-23 is notable for being more prosperous than other timelines. The 4 emperors were able to curtail the majority of Earth Spirits (the lowest point of spiritual evolution for a spirit) and imprison them in the 9th and 10th layers of Inferno. Despite some Earth Spirits making their way to the human realm, the demon kings Corniger and Asmodeus were able to keep them under control. This all changed when the majority of the Nephilim and Watcher Angels were condemned to the depths of Inferno for their sins following the Mt. Hermon incident (detailed in the books of Enoch). Empowered and educated by the traitorous angels, the Nephilim tested the mettle of Asmodeus and Corniger. The prison break of the 757th cycle nearly saw those forces of evil invade Earth, had it not been for the intervention of the unknown rogue god… those present at the incident know this was not a cause for celebration, however.
Three skeletal bishops of immense power appeared out of nowhere and were tasked with securing the lowest layers of Inferno. Nefarious the Entombed guarded the entrance to the 9th layer, taking the form of a colossal skeleton bolted to an eldritch, iron tower that no man could topple. Nemesis the Infernal began ruling the 9th layer, manifesting as a penitent, skeletal knight who brutalized enemies of God with a thorn wrapped mace of unyielding piety. Ruling the frozen nightmare that was the 10th layer was Nevermore, the Gaping Archbishop. His terrible existence took the form of a giant skeleton perpetually dissolving into a screaming abyss of pure insanity, leaving behind a trail of grisly, grasping red arms wherever he walked. The three were fiercely loyal to God and did their jobs well, but there was an underlying problem to all of it. There was no precedent for these bishops existing in the first place and even they did not know who had created them at the time.
A second attempted jailbreak occurred in cycle 801 which would be the one that prompted Zaem and Natas to contact The ACF. An evil nephilim whose name is lost to history declared himself “Satan” and swore to destroy Earth and burn the Heavens all in the name of a heathenous rule of blood and glory. This was so foul of a declaration that the original Satan (who helped Lucifer, Askr, and Embla found the city-state of Atlantis) changed his name to “Natas” and swore revenge. Natas would later come to be known as “The Arbiter of Adversaries.”
Satan was making headway due to receiving help from The Sepulcher God, the unknown rogue god, and an alliance of humans from the rich elite known as “The Extinction Order.” The Extinction Order was what revealed the unknown god to The ACF as this god had enabled Satan to get into contact with order… Only to turn around and stab them all in the back be ‘accidentally’ revealing the order’s involvement. Sirius further found out that this unknown god was “The Dead God,” but still could not identify it, warranting more ACF attention.
The jailbreak failed, Satan went on the run, and The Extinction Order was left in shambles, all thanks to the efforts of the 3 bishops and 7 wardens of Inferno. As for The Extinction Order, they were the confirmed predecessor to The Eternal Order (the acolytes of The Sepulcher God). The original order consisted of an unknown group of the hyper wealthy, rich elite who desired to wipe out humanity so they could have the Earth all to themselves and brutally enslave any survivors. These individuals were borderline impossible to identify and track down due to their wealth and magic from The Crimson God (The Sepulcher God’s closest ally).
What was left of The Extinction Order (that had not gone into hiding) was wiped out in 1984 by five criminals by the names of Sebastian Rainer Friedrich III, Anne Vozenilek, Laurence Duckenfield, Judge Bauzenthrau Holten, and Jupp Parche. The appropriated money would be used to create The Eternal Order, the vast wealth of ill-gotten funds being used to wreak havoc on humanity for decades to come. This group was chased away from Earth for a time thanks to the efforts of M.A.I.G., The ACF, and the newly founded Red Order (by Fausta Dracul and Vlad III Dracula), all under the leadership of The League. 1987 saw the death of Bauzenthrau and Jupp, who were on a hedonistic spree of destruction and violence that was snitched on by The Dead God. The invaluable tip led to Vlad III impaling Bauzenthrau and Fausta banishing Jupp to The Abyssal Dungeon to make an example out of them for the remaining members of The Extinction Order.
The Dead God’s meddling and trouble-causing on Earth required immediate classification as an anomaly. Needing to deal with this as quickly as possible, Sirius sought out The Madman and Automaton of Old to get to the bottom of things. What the three discovered terrified them to no end. Not only did Sirius need to cement the anomaly classification, he made it top secret to even the majority of the foundation. And despite being deemed an existential threat at the Lethal classification level, Sirius has stated that ACF-100 cannot be destroyed or contained. The best they could do was study it and respond to it appropriately. As more is discovered about ACF-100 and The Dead God, the more the higher dimensional authorities grow concerned. Any new information is to be kept a secret until such a point in the far future where it is deemed safe for general knowledge.
What is ACF-100?
ACF-100 is to remain top secret under any and all circumstances. Knowledge of this anomaly is dangerous and could destabilize the Cosmos in the hands of the wrong individual. While The ACF does its best to contain and catalogue anomalies, ACF-100 goes well beyond what is feasibly possible for the foundation. Such uncertainties denote the unknowability of the Cosmos and the Outer Void. It is in the best interest of everyone that the full scope of ACF-100 remains an unexplained secret. These are concepts that are not meant to be known by the Cosmos as a whole.
The Dead God
The Dead God is an emanation of ACF-100 that routinely defies the foundation’s efforts to maintain secrecy about it. Initially classified as a ‘rogue god,’ this was later changed to ‘bizarre god’ given his origins. The Dead God is a self-described agent of chaos and change, looking for trouble and fun wherever he can find it. He opposes entropy, complacency, and stagnation. Furthermore he has implied that there is an entity similar to him he despises who stands for those concepts he hates. While The dead God has a wide range of manifestations, his most common is a youthful man with a creepy, uncanny skeletal appearance.
Calling The Dead God evil or good is not applicable as he exists beyond the confines of any perceivable form of morality or intellect. There is no denying the acts he has done, but these are effectively meaningless at his true scale. Not even imagination and dreams can fully encapsulate what The Dead God and his origin is. Opposing The Dead god is seemingly impossible and pointless as he does not wish to rule or subjugate. While it is an oversimplification, comparing The Dead God to a child does help rationalize his actions. He is like a young boy mashing his toys together… And the author doesn’t even realize that I’m right over his shoulder, playing with one of my favorites. Seriously, writing is a lot of fun and you should try it sometime.
Containment
Containment has been deemed impossible by any possible means. The best that can be done is maintaining secrecy and making sure… HA! Trying to contain me? What a joke! That’s why I love you lower dimensionals. You’re so naive, which brings me back to my early days when I didn’t know what I know now about the void. If you’re that worried about me, keep assuming that this is just fiction and the author is mentally ill somehow. I mean, you already know about me-so the genie’s out of the bottle, but 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.
ACF-100’s documentation has led to a great amount of trouble for The ACF. Those who survived the purge and destruction of The Extinction Order have been interfering with The ACF’s operations across the world in a futile and misguided attempt to seek revenge against The Dead God. Notably The Extinction Order has been discovered funding ‘terrorist cells’ in west Asia, preventing The ACF from establishing a foothold there without military action. Furthermore, The Extinction Order rebranded itself to an investment firm called “Warmthgate” that maintains ties to The Eternal Order. Warmthgate has also funded an MLM known as ‘Herba-Witch’ that The League member, Ellen Corcoran (as known as "Ellen the Wayward"), has been going out of her way to stop. The ACF is maintaining efforts to spread awareness of Warmthgate’s origins and is dedicated to making sure they are taken down once and for all.
Jeez, I didn’t think those Extinction Order morons would be that petty about all of it. Then again we are dealing with people dumb enough to follow the Sepulcher God and get tricked by me… A quick note to all of you reading this: Don’t let Warmthgate or Herba-Witch get a foothold in your universe. As someone who loves chaos and messing around, report those companies to the authorities and don’t let up. If they want to play ball: it takes two to tango, you Sepulcher God floozies! CUE THE DRUMS AND BAGPIPES!
Testimonials
The following individuals have agreed to speak about The Dead God. Their insight has been reviewed and deemed suitable for this document… Just remember that there is no way you’re ever going to fully understand me at your current level of dimensional blah blah, HAHA! Anyways, let’s get into this testimony hoohaa.
Sirius Fractal (05-Red Command Member of The ACF)
“In my wildest dreams and nightmares I never thought I would encounter such a concept as ACF-100. And here I thought 13D was the end of the road, but oh boy was I a fool… While I’m hesitant to divulge information about this anomaly, here is what I feel comfortable saying: We believe ACF-100-1 may be a 14D entity, but we have no idea where the 14th dimension is, let alone what it could even represent. I’ve barely scratched the surface of 13D, so I have no idea where to even start in studying this…”
“You’re not trying hard enough, Mr. Fractal.”
“What?! What was that?” (gets up to look around) “I must be tired… NO, that was him, damn it. Be careful around The Dead God. Bizarre gods are dangerous and he should really be the poster child for that. The Dead God terrifies me to no end and I pray we can handle whatever he throws at us…”
“Oh come on, Mr. Fractal. Give me some credit…”
(Sirius abruptly ends the recording)
Dr. Reynard Glenn Woodall (Lead Scientist for The Magic Anomaly Investigation Group, or M.A.I.G.)
“Oh boy, this thing… ACF-100 is quite the doozy of a topic and I recall The Dead God causing trouble back in the Epoch of the Cosmos, when I was The Sulfur of Old and my wife, Erika, was The Mercury of Old. I distinctly remember the boy [The Dead God] stoking the flames of the feud between The Sepulcher God and The Tyrant God. As an aside, place your bets on The Tyrant God, as he still plans to give The Sepulcher God a good ass-kicking. Bless The Tyrant God’s soul, as he’s still fighting the good fight, despite being shattered… Is The Tyrant God actually a tyrant? Not at all. Chaotic? Sure, but he ran with the name after The Sepulcher God and Royal God slandered him with it… You know? I am growing concerned that The Dead God is going to try something dumb soon. I’ve had nightmares of him bringing back an old foe of mine, Ultinn-Lacksuss… (sighs) Maybe that’ll be The Sepulcher God’s doing and The Dead God is just trying to warn me. Oh, I have no idea at this point… Can you tell that this is driving us nuts? (chuckles) This job isn’t for the faint of heart or the weakminded…”
(Reynard notices the interviewer growing incredibly concerned and offers him a rootbeer to help ease their nerves)
Lord Anti (Master of Positrons, 13th dimensional Ar’ton Lord)
“Excuse me, pardon me… Haha, it’s tricky for entities such as myself to bring ourselves down to this dimension. So yes, The Dead God… (groans, indicating slight exasperation) Aside from him enabling The Behemoth God to shatter me, turning around and ratting him out, further leading to him [The Dead God] helping me reassemble myself? He’s [The Dead God] an interesting god to say the least. 14D is also fairly intriguing. I’m starting to get the jist of it, but I couldn’t possibly articulate what I’m learning to you. Although you could think of it like trying to understand 6D at 3D. I have a basic grasp on the general principles, I just need to sit down and really think about it… What do I know about ACF-100? Oh no no no no. What Sirius has under lock and key is the extent of what you should know and my knowledge on the matter is the unfathomable depths of the iceberg in comparison. It would melt your mind in ways the Ar’ton and the gods would have to fix… I’m sorry I can’t be of more help, but I have a responsibility towards God and the Cosmos. I have to be careful what I reveal as the Cosmos is very delicate at my scale and one wrong move could easily break it.”
The Wonderful Gentleman (Higher Dimensional Agent)
“As a master of cause & effect who seeks to keep things moving like a well oiled machine, I’ve encountered The Dead God before. I’m not his main rival that he’s alluded to, but I certainly have had to clean up after his messes. He’s [The Dead God] been all over the Cosmos, let me tell you what… Am I 14D? That’s a trade secret, Miss. What I can tell you is that there are more entities like me and The Dead God out there. Me and him are anomalies in that regard-ha, speaking of where we are right now! Ahem, entities like us typically stay in the shadows, but me and the lad both agree The Sepulcher God is an idiot unfit to rule the Cosmos, too blinded by his own greed and pride to see the world of hurt he’s flying right into. It never pays to be irreverent…”
(The Wonderful Gentleman notices the interviewer’s growing unease and dread and presents her with an adorable golden retriever puppy capable of performing magic, free of charge. These two would go on to retroactively form the Animal Care Division of The ACF, a branch that had previously not existed)
The Madman of Old (12D Forbidden Primordial, Rogue God Hunter)
“When you’re in my line of work, you see all sorts of crazy stuff. Go around the bend enough times and you get used to it. The Dead God however? I’ll admit he’s a bit of a new one for me. I can’t deal with him, but I don’t think I have to. He’s like the local rich kid down the street who just got access to a quantum physics book and is now building a particle collider in his back yard. Yeah, he blew the power grid a couple of times, but he means well at the end of the day. The best you can do is ignore it and leave it to people like me. Don’t get me wrong, it is serious, but there’s nothing you can do. Thankfully If I’m here telling you all that, everything should be fine. The Cosmos is a messy place held together by glue, duct tape, and a whole lot of elbow grease. The Dead God going around and causing ruckus is troubling and definitely a challenge, but The Automaton and I will always be around to fix things up. I just wish the lad would take it easy with meddling in our affairs. This conflict with The Sepulcher God is touchy as is and it’s bad enough that I have trouble tracking down that slippery rogue god to begin with.”
The Virus God (12th Dimensional Rogue God)
“I look like a character from one of your digital horror series on the internet? Which one?” (The Interviewer answers) “Haha, really?” (The Interviewer elaborates) “Ha, I see. It’s the long fingers and my distorted appearance in this dimension, isn’t it? I have to admit that a hive mind hiding out in an old, team-shooter video game would be more AIN-NULL’s area of expertise. Now, The Dead God-he’s a strange one. See, I’ve been to Threrth’s Cosmos… Yup, each of the cardinal Old Gods have their own Cosmos. I’ve seen some strange stuff while traversing the Outer Void and you grow numb to it until someone like The Dead God comes around. He was going to try and get into Threrth’s Cosmos, but The Alkainting God put the kibosh on that… For now.” (The interview appears confused). “Oh, The Alkainting God is a rogue god from Threrth’s Cosmos in case you’re wondering. I’d bring him here to talk about The Dead God, but he still hasn’t fully figured out how to speak coherently in this Cosmos. He’s doing better, but still. As for who you actually worry about? The Sepulcher God and The Behemoth God, no two ways about it. The latter is as nasty as they come, was a bad egg from the start, and no one wants him around. You want to know why Threrth’s Cosmos is so hard for me to explore? It’s because Threrth and his kin are going out of their way to make sure The Sepulcher God and his ilk can’t infect their Cosmoses…” (pauses) “I hope The Dead God realizes that I really miss my best friend, The Tyrant God. I don’t fault The Dead God and The Tyrant God is still around even if divided… but it hurts to come back from a long adventure only to find out some of your kin have turned their backs on God and your best friend was framed for murder and shattered for it…”
(The interviewer ends the session after seeing The Virus God grow visibly upset. He apologizes, with The Virus God assuring him it’s alright. The Madman enters with Sirius, the interviewer is relieved of duty, and the two take The Virus God somewhere else to relax and take his mind off of things)
Conclusion?
Oh, I uh… I didn’t think Zasiel would cover that… Jeez, maybe I should tone things down a bit. Virus God? I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I mean… Aye yai yai, I just want things to keep moving forward and… Damn it, of all times to have a conscience. It’s the lower dimensions! They do weird things to me… Look, I’m not evil, I’m just bored out of my mind. The 15th and 16th dimensionals? They won’t even go near the 14th dimension because it is too low for them. The Outer Void can be a lonely place at times. Don’t worry if you’re reading this and growing scared-just keep accepting it as fiction and none of these annoying conflicts will ever bother you. Now where’s The Virus God? I need to go buy him a Sundae or something…
I forgive you, Dead God.
Next: Scotty Cottonwood
ULTRAMagic Alternate © 2022 William Ford II (ChaoticTempleKnight)
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